They’ve become an obnoxious, obstinate, onerous, vicious lot and they are called the Republican Party.

They didn’t get where they are today because they’re smart. Clearly they subscribe to the theory that nice guys ~ and gals ~ finish last, a flawed theory if ever there was one.

Out of the mouths of Republican babes and beaus are these zingers spewed by those who claw at the Obama Administration, the world, each other – an unhappy lot having found themselves a party that sent out an invitation to attend, but got unceremoniously turned down.

“AIG Execs should quit or commit suicide,” blurted mean-spirited Republican Iowa Senator Charles Grassley.

 Meghan McCain is a “useful idiot,” conservative talk show maven Laura Ingraham spit, after calling the healthy-looking daughter of Senator John McCain fat.

Young McCain spat back during an appearance on The View, “Kiss my fat a*s!”

On conservative websites they spew forth with killer venom a deadly strike on their intended victims. They can find nothing positive to say about President Obama, Hillary Clinton and Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner (OK, admittedly Geithner deserves a hit or two). They even attack their own these days, not just Meghan McCain, but newly-seated RNC Chair Michael Steele’s head is also on the chopping block.

Out-of-touch with the times, the Republican leaders cling to a past flawed though it was and ideas that seem equally irrelevant in these cantankerous times. They sing only one tune despite its irrelevance considering the economics of our day: Don’t tax, don’t spend tra la la, sis boom ba, gimme a break, fa la la la la la!

 They’re like fish dying in a polluted lake although ironically most Republicans don’t believe in pollution, flopping about desperate for oxygen wasting what little life they have left in them, stupidly.

The knee-jerk reaction of the stricken, when smarts and reason are the order of the day, hardly serves their cause. They send out their talking heads to remain relevant. But choosing Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal to represent them because of his ethnicity and clearly not his talent proved a disaster. Equally inappropriate is Eric Cantor who knows only one note to sing, the dirge of death, is simply another mistake and is nothing more than a retread of Newt Gingrich whose time came and went, his methods proving only short-term gains.

Dare I mention Tom Delay, another mad Republican hoisted by his own petard?

What the Party seems to be clueless about is the State of the Union. This is a country beaten down, exhausted, truly looking for the kindler- gentler, the hope that tomorrow is more than just another miserable day.

The brotherhood/sisterhood of the Republicans seems to feel better when in tandem they attack, but that only holds their own house together while it alienates all others. Who wants to join a rabid pack of dogs except in desperation? Given the choice, most would rather go hungry than pal around with a deplorable group that might get you a meal, but with an unseemly price to pay.

So what can the Grand-Old-Party-No-More do? Simple. Take a lesson from the master, Prince Charming himself President Barack Obama. It’s time for the charm offensive. You know, the: You get more with honey than vinegar approach. Heads up, Republicans: There’s truth to the old adage if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em.

That’s not to say capitulate; but come on, surely even the members of the GOP understand that there is more than one way to skin a cat. There’s an opportunity here to gain the high ground. And my friends who call themselves Republicans – that is what Americans want these days – they want to be walking on that high ground. Not the moral high ground, lest you be confused. Americans are tired of that road, too. They are exhausted from the abyss and want to return to the land of milk and honey. They don’t want more punishing vernacular, they want a new inspiring Sermon from the Mount.

This is not a time for the Republicans to take on the role of The Loyal Opposition. The arguments have long been on the table but in these times arguing is not the avenue to achievement. The term bi-partisanship has become like a bad rap lyric, said so many times that it has been rendered meaningless. Da da da da, da da da, bipartisanship da da da da – nothing but empty verse.   

No, it’s time for the members of the Republican Party to take off the boxing gloves, remove their moral mantle, their only chance at relevance to be better at charm than the charm king himself, Barack Obama. Because as Abraham Lincoln, that Republican president so aptly said, “Am I not destroying my enemy when I’m making friends of them?”

Anyway, try it. What have you got to lose? If it doesn’t work, remember, you can always go back to being your old, miserable, irrelevant selves.