Myrtle, the only person I know in America who doesn’t have unlimited
long distance as a feature of her phone service, signaled me to call her
Sunday afternoon because I do pay for the extremely expensive feature.
She used her personal code: ring two times, hang-up, ring once, hang-up.
The not very original Myrtle has to use this code because she has the
service of caller id block and can’t ever remember the code that will
unblock her code. And since we in this house don’t answer unidentified
calls, Myrtle must resort to the code.
Ring…ring…hang-up…ring...hang-up…ring…I answer the phone not to the polite
Hello, how are you? bit expected since we haven’t spoken in a while, but
instead to an angst-ridden, extremely upset voice bordering the shrill
at the other end of the line.
“I am PISSED OFF,” Myrtle screams into my ear. “Seriously, I am furious!
This Democratic Party is taxing my patience. Who the hell do these bozo
men who are controlling things think they are? And who is this Donnie
Fowler, a relation to the Osmonds?” she asks across the wires.
“Halli, do you know this guy? Come on, he has got to be kidding! They’ve
all got to be kidding. What, do they think the women in the party are
all a bunch of f**ing fools?” Blah…blah…blah!
Anyway, Myrtle’s colorful rant continued for a full seven
minutes…honest…I timed it. And much of what Myrtle said isn’t repeatable
even in the uncensored world of the internet. I’ll tell you, Myrtle is
HOT under the good ol’ girl collar. In fact, I haven’t heard Myrtle this
angry since her boyfriend of five years left her for a woman half her
age and half her brain power. Like I said, Myrtle is furious!
So what’s the source of Myrtle’s incandescent rage?
Myrtle doesn’t like the tone in the missive addressed to “Dear
Democratic Friends” that she received, signed by one Donnie Fowler,
DNC Member At-Large, South Carolina and Former Chair of the Democratic
National Committee.
Before I share with you Myrtle’s problem with the letter, let me give
you a bit of background on my friend Myrtle. Myrtle is white, Jewish,
unmarried, a New Yorker born and bred, smart, well-read, well-educated,
well-traveled, which she can afford to be because she has a great…well…high-powered job that affords her the luxury.
Moving
closer to 60 with each passing day, Myrtle is a dyed-in-the-wool
progressive Democrat. She is so far to the left in her political
persuasion Fidel Castro would love her.
As this election cycle began, Myrtle was oh, so excited. Barack Obama
was her candidate. He was the man to take the world into the future with
all his progressive ideas. Myrtle was sure the Democrats could take back
the White House and right all the wrongs of the past eight years and the
Bush Administration.
We would engage in great political discussions in those early days of
the campaign, some quite boisterous as I was an early Hillary Clinton
supporter when Myrtle was not.
But slowly, ever so slowly, I, with the help of her man, Barack Obama,
changed my progressive friend’s point-of-view. And she who had once
despised Hillary Clinton came to admire and respect her, and finally to
support her candidacy.
It wasn’t only Obama’s lack of political experience which turned Myrtle
off to Obama as the Party’s eventual nominee. She will tell you that as
the primaries ensued she started to question the sincerity of Obama’s
words, and moreover, Obama’s conviction to his progressive ideals.
But with Hillary’s loss and Obama’s coronation because of what Myrtle
calls “the machination of the Democratic Party” my friend Myrtle was left with the choice of who she would vote for come
election day.
Having never voted for any but a Democratic candidate, Myrtle is left
with the dilemma many Hillary supporters face. Should she vote for the
inexperienced, insincere, candidate who is ideals challenged? Should she
vote for the Republican John McCain whose ideals she doesn’t always
share? Or should she simply sit this one out?
Apparently, Donnie Fowler’s letter helped my friend Myrtle come to her
decision.
And here are the two lines that did it: “I
must confess a bit of fatigue and irritation with people who continue to
carp, complain, and criticize the results of the primary and lay
down conditions for their support,” Mr. Fowler wrote.
“It
is time to act in a mature and resourceful fashion. It's time to
put the primaries behind us. It's time to support Barack Obama without
conditions or demands.” (Emphasis mine)
Here is some more of what the letter said: “It is time for all
Democrats, supporters of Senator Clinton and all other contenders for
the nomination, to stand with him to secure [Barack Obama’s] election.”
“How dare that Fowler guy speak to women with such disdain,” Myrtle
bristled across the fiber optic highway. “What if the situation was
reversed and it had been Obama who had been forced out of the race? Do
you think the Donnie Fowlers of the Democratic Party would be sending
out letters using words like ‘carp and complain’ to potential MALE
voters? Of course they wouldn’t.”
Myrtle insisted: “It’s how the men who are controlling the Democratic
Party, with the help of a few estrogen-challenged female surrogates like
Nancy Pelosi, Donna Brazile and Claire McCaskill, that is sticking
in my craw.”
“How could you possibly vote Republican?” I asked Myrtle. “You’ve always
been a Democrat. You believe in the ideals of the Democratic Party. The
Republicans want to overturn Roe Vs Wade. They don’t believe in
universal health care, Hillary’s pet project, but you do. There’s Iraq,
there’s…”
And then my erudite female friend nearing a milestone birthday said the
magic word as we spoke across the telephone lines:
“FISA
(Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act),” Myrtle said. “He caved,” she
reminded me.
She continued: “At least the Republican’s and John McCain stand
for something. I may not always agree with what they stand for, but ya
gotta stand for something, even if you sound like you’re ‘carping and
complaining and criticizing.’”
And with that feeling better for having made her point Myrtle hung up the telephone that the Feds might be
monitoring thanks to the highly resourceful vote of Barack Obama.