My
poor dearest little
baby Barack,
Monday night wasn’t your best
performance, that’s for sure. Did you have a boo boo? A fever? Diaper
rash? Is that what all your whining was about?
My little
Baricky-Poo, you still have much to learn. And, by the way, didn’t your
Mama ever teach you that “sticks and stones will break your bones but
names will never harm you?” Or tell you that sometimes it’s better to look
the other way, turn your cheek, rather than take the bait and engage in a
fight?
You must be
teething you were so easily BABY-rattled during the CNN
debate.
And rattled you were stammering and stuttering so that when you finally
got your words out they weren’t very nice.
I wanted to wrench you off that stage and put you in your basinet and wash
your little mouth out with soap. If I could have I would have put you into
the corner for a time out. You were a naughty, naughty little boy, Barack;
you have a nasty temper and it isn’t serving you well. You need to learn
how to stay cool under political fire.
And there’s
something else I want to talk to you about. I don’t like the people you’ve
been hanging around with lately. That Tony Rezko fella, I think you need
to come clean on that relationship. I warned you not to have anything to
do with him after that shady business deal with the buying of your house.
And I don’t care how much money he was apparently laundering through the
Barack Obama Baby Sitting Service aka your campaign,
you ought to have known better than to get involved with the likes of him.
(OK, you knew better and you did anyway, tsk, tsk.).
Did you know that
Mr. Rezko faces a Feb. 25 trial? He is charged with fraud, attempted
extortion and money laundering for allegedly plotting to get campaign
money and payoffs from firms seeking to do business before two state
boards.
And that’s not
all; he also faces a separate federal charge of swindling the General
Electric Capital Corp. out of $10 million in connection with the sale of
pizza restaurants. So, you tell me the truth about your relationship with
that slum lord. Or if you don’t, I will send you to bed with no supper.
Now Barack, thank goodness you’re still young. You have plenty of time to
learn from your mistakes. My Pet-ulant, you showed me last night that you
still have a lot of growing up to do, so I don’t think you’re quite ready
to sleep in a “big boy’s bed,” just yet.
I know that it's
true that Uncle Bill Clinton has been coming down on you pretty hard lately. I
know you can’t utter a word without Uncle Bill wagging his finger in your
cute little baby face. But, Barack, he is the master and he’s just trying
to teach you how to get it right.
So, my little bubbala, it would be to your advantage to listen
to what Uncle Bill has to say. And if you’re a good boy, don’t do drugs,
eat all of your vegetables, and study hard, who knows, one day you
might actually grow up to be President of the United States - just like Uncle Bill.
Love,
Auntie Hillary
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