Barack (Obama) and Bibi (Netanyahu), the two B’s, one the leader of the U.S. and the other the Leader of Jewish State of Israel, buzzed around each other in that hive on Pennsylvania Avenue aka The White House yesterday, two drones.

“Won’t you, be my, be my baby?” Barack sang to Bibi. “You give me the Gaza, you give me the Two-state Palestinian solution, you dismantle settlements in the west, you give me Jerusalem, you give me Palestinian right of return, you return the Golan Heights and I’ll tell the world that you are bei mir bist du shein – beautiful to me –- tra la la. Otherwise, you’ll be kaput as a world leader.”

Bibi Netanyahu was insulted. He is not a bee who takes kindly to threats. And not one having been stung by the Big oBama virus infecting the entire world, was ready to beeline it out the door of the Oval Office, so insulted was he.

“What chutzpah,” Bibi buzzed to The Big B! You have treated me like dreck. You invited that little Saudi King Abdullah to visit you before me. Imagine entertaining an Arab in your White House before the Jew? Oy vey is mir. You have stung me to the core.

“And worse, you dare to speak of breaking Barbari bread with the Iranian bigot, Ahmadinejad who denies the Holocaust. And you speak to the Islamist community as if you are one of them – are you? And you send your CIA chief Leon Panetta on a secret mission to Israel to threaten me against bombing the Iranians, something I wouldn’t have to do if America had taken care of Iran long ago as it should have. And then you disclose our secret meetings to the press making it look as if I am the one standing in the way of accord, when we all know that it is the Palestinians who have stood in the way of peace.

“But as Hillary Clinton learned, and John McCain, too, O, you are clever! Not only do you do these terrible things but you do more. You have seduced the left wing of the American Jewish community to believe you have Israel’s best interest at heart, when I am not at all certain that you do. They are fooled by your buzzwords, but not for long, never for long.

“History, Barack, shows that the left-wing of the American Jewish community is sometimes slow to get it, as they were with Hitler. But they did eventually come to understand the impending danger of Hitler – not that I’m comparing you to Hitler, O, no. But perhaps, you Barack, might start considering Iran as your personal Hitler. A nuclear-armed Iran is the same as a nuclear-armed Hamas and Hezbollah, but also al Qaeda! America watch out. Do-doo-doo-doo!"

No drama Obama, always self-contained, and accustomed to Jewish angst – his consigliore being Rahm Emanuel who is the son of a Jerusalem-born pediatrician who was once a member of the Ergun –knew how to calm-down the anguished Bibi.

“Calm down, my friend, and we’ll have some breakfast. I’ve ordered bagels, lox and cream cheese.  We’ll talk while we eat.”

The two B’s sat on the bee-pollen colored sofa in front of an heirloom coffee table that had once belonged to President Rutherford B. Hayes while they waited for their breakfast to arrive.

“Bibi,” Barack said, “we’ve got to restart serious negotiations on the Israel-Palestinian issue. It is in both of our interests to achieve a two-state solution.”

Bibi responded. “I am ready to resume peace talks with the Palestinians,” he said, the operative word being resume, reminding The Big B that it is the Palestinians who have refused the peace in the past. But, Bibi said, “any agreement is contingent upon the acceptance of Israel’s right to exist as a Jewish state.”

Before The Big B could respond, there was a knock on the door. An aide entered with a silver tray bearing the bagels and lox. He set the tray on the coffee table that once belonged to Rutherford B. Hayes and began to buzz around the two drones offering napkins. “That’s not necessary, I’ll take it from here,” the Big B told the servant who then hastened out of the room.

“Dig in,” The Big B insisted and continued talking. “Of course, I understand that we are going to have to do a better job of providing the kinds of security assurances that you would need to achieve a two-state solution and of course the Arab states must be bolder and more supportive in seeking normalization with your country.

“But Israel is going to have to take some difficult steps as well,” Barack said. “You must respect agreements reached by previous Israeli governments and curtail settlements on the West Bank.”

Bibi didn’t agree, but he did say, “We don't want to govern the Palestinians. We want them to govern themselves. But there is more. You and I share a common goal, peace. We also share a common threat, Iran, a country that openly calls for Israel’s destruction. A nuclear-armed Iran is as much a threat to you as it is to Israel and would be a calamity for the Middle East.”

The Big B answered: “We want Iran to be a full-fledged member of the international community and be in a position to provide opportunities and prosperity for their people, but the way to achieve those goals is not through the pursuit of a nuclear weapon.” 

“And if they refuse to give up that pursuit?”

“We are not foreclosing a range of steps, including much stronger international sanctions, in assuring that Iran understands that we are serious.”

“And how long do you pursue the Iranians?”

“I think by the end of the year we should know where we stand.”

“Tea?” The Big B asked.

“Certainly.”

“Honey or lemon?”

The man from the land of milk and honey answered The Big B, “Didn’t your mother ever teach you that you get far more with honey than you do with lemon?” And then he smiled, changing the subject.

“I understand the White House was swarmed by bees the week of Passover, is this true?” Bibi asked The Big B?

“Yes.”

“Read your Bible lately? Exodus, The 10 Plagues. Egypt…?”

The Big B thought for a moment, “I’ll be damned,” he said to Bibi Netanyahu.

“Not if you remember, ‘Let my people go.’” Tra la la.

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