Just when you think his fate is Navy-sealed, John McCain McPain rises from the sea like the ancient grey submarine that he is, to live and fight another day in America’s political water. It’s hard to fathom. 

The man who’s starting to look like the old man from The Old Man and the Sea has circumnavigated his way through the torpedoes of the Republican political minefields and has all but locked up the Republican nomination. 

The no-longer-Grand Old Party deserves the not-so-grand-old man for their candidate. The GOP no longer stands for what the party once was, and nor does John McPain.  

Washed up only months ago his candidacy a shipwreck, McPain had to take out a loan to finance his campaign securing the loan with a life-boat insurance policy because apparently credit is even hard to secure for members of the Senate these days.

Why had McPain’s campaign sunk to the bottom of the sea? Because even Conservatives had had enough of John McPain’s fish tales.  Yes he is a war-hero, yes he’s done some good things for America in his long life-boat career, but in his zeal to achieve his dream of becoming president of the United States it was clear to the rank and vile of the Republican Party that McPain had sold his soul down the river.

The guy who had been the commander of the Straight Talk Express had jumped his own ship. No longer is he challenging his party’s establishment, a challenge that had once earned him the moniker “maverick.” The McPain running for the Republican nomination is now full of bilge, a worn-out ship listing in whichever direction it takes to navigate the political winds and win him the nomination.

The man who had fought the tobacco lobby, battled for corporate governance, defended campaign finance reform and contested his party in supporting action against global warming has somehow morphed into George W. Bush. Where once he had voted against the Bush tax cuts, suddenly he is for them.

Talk about towing the party line!

Now, trying to right his ship and bring the Republican Party-boat together, he’s pandering to the Christian Right the very same bunch he denounced when he ran for the Republican presidential nomination in 2000 then calling the late Evangelical  leader Jerry Falwell an ''evil" force whose message of ''intolerance" hurt the GOP and America.

Even as McPain now sails toward the nomination, the Christian Right remains anchored in its position to thwart his candidacy. They are steadfast in their declaration not to vote for McPain, and now are talking about launching a third party candidate.

McPain is an old warmonger who has never seen a war he didn’t like, which is the only consistent thing you can say about him these days. He’s fought the battle of his life for the Republican nomination. He has been steadfast in his support of the Iraq War. He’s so resolute in his Iraq position that recently McPain declared that it would be fine with him if America stayed in Iraq for a hundred years.

It’s statements like these that make the man a McPain in the arse.